Support for Males

Myth: Men can’t be sexually abused

Reality: Any man or boy can experience sexual abuse. It can happen regardless of their size, strength or sexual orientation.

Myth: Women cannot sexually abuse men (or boys)

Reality: While the majority of perpetrators are men, we know that women do sexually abuse men and/or boys.  There are many unhelpful myths around who perpetrates abuse which can make it even more difficult for survivors to come forward and seek support.

The perpetrator could be anyone, a partner, an ex-partner, date, friend or family member, a professional or a work colleague.  It might be a teacher, a carer or a person in a position of trust.  It might be someone you know or someone you don’t know.  Whatever happened, you deserve support.

Myth: Only gay men abuse other men.

Reality: If a man abuses another man, it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Sexual abuse is about having power and control over another person.  Males who are straight do sexually assault other males.

Myth: Only gay men and boys are sexually abused.

Reality: Being sexually assaulted does not relate in any way to your sexuality and people can experience this whether they are straight (heterosexual), gay or bisexual.  Being gay, bisexual (or straight) does not mean that you attracted the abuse.  If you have been sexually assaulted you deserve support.

Myth: If I was drinking or taking drugs, it was my fault.

Reality: If you had been taking drugs or were drunk, this does not give somebody the right or excuse to assault you.  If a person decides to abuse you, it is not your fault and you are not to blame.

Myth: Sexual abuse makes you gay.

Reality: Being sexually abused can make a survivor question their sexual orientation.  They can be especially worried if they had a physical reaction, for example had an erection, during the abuse.  Research suggests that being abused does not have an effect on sexual orientation.  We understand that survivors may have questions about this or are unsure about their identity.

Myth: Having a physical response to abuse means that it wasn’t really abuse.

Reality: Having a physical response to abuse does not mean that you wanted it or enjoyed the assault.  Experiencing a physical reaction is a biological response and does not indicate anything about your sexual orientation.

We know that having a physical reaction while being abused can be very confusing for a survivor. Sometimes a perpetrator may use this to minimise what happened and prevent them from getting help.

Myth: Being sexually abused will make you an abuser

Reality: This is a damaging myth and can stop people getting the support they deserve.  The majority of males who have experienced abuse as a child or an adult will not go on to abuse others.