J for Joking
Sexual violence starts a long time before we think it does – often with a joke, banter or a flippant comment.
Many of us have heard about rape culture but a lot of us don’t know what it is. How does a joke or a sexist comment enable sexual assault and rape?
The Rape Pyramid has been around for a long time now and helps to explain what rape culture is. At the bottom of the pyramid are sexist attitudes and beliefs, leading up through flashing, groping, and victim-blaming, all the way through to rape.
The idea is that different levels of abuse play into and enable further abuse. For example, if a male sees an attractive woman at the bar and says ‘I’d give her one’ he is reducing her to a sexual object with no right to choose. It also suggests that the woman has done something to attract that comment. If they are not called out the assumption is that everyone agrees.
If we do not challenge rape jokes and misogynistic ‘banter’ some people feel enabled to follow through on what they have said. They might touch a person without consent or use threats to get what they want. The victim-survivor might also feel unable to report this or get support because the same beliefs that enable this behaviour also blame women for being the target of an assault.
We often see where people are convicted of rape, they have also displayed other problematical behaviour such as flashing or groping. If you have experienced any of these things you deserve support.
Treating other people like objects and joking about sexual assault just makes rape seem acceptable. When we challenge it, we are telling those around us that this is not okay. Don’t let the rapist off the hook with your banter.
