M for Mates
Be honest – are your friends a lifeline on a night out? Or a liability?
There is nothing better than having a great night out with your mates. But sometimes even a great night can start to feel difficult. Like when your mate starts making sexist comments, is crowding someone or is offering drinks to someone who is clearly not interested.
Challenging a mate who’s making other people uncomfortable – or worse – isn’t easy but sometimes it has to be done. They are more likely to listen to people they know, trust and relate to.
Our friends from the ‘Have a Word’ campaign offer some tips on how this can be done in a way that doesn’t humiliate, shame or escalate the behaviour:
- Don’t feel pressured to laugh along with sexist conversations or ‘banter’
- Change the subject
- Find an opportunity to talk about it with the person away from other people
- Walk away, don’t engage with the inappropriate comments or conversation
- Get used to saying ‘that’s not okay’ when you hear sexist jokes from friends, family and colleagues
- Ask curious questions like ‘what do you mean by that?’ or ‘what makes you think that?’
If your mate is making someone feel uncomfortable or threatened you should tell them to stop.
If you are not able to do this safely, they are touching someone without consent or things escalate then you need to get help. You can report this to the venue.
Intervening
Have a look at our Intervene section on how to be an active bystander when someone is being harassed by someone you don’t know.
Safe Space Pledge
More and more venues in Nottingham are signing up to the Safe Space Pledge. These places have staff who are trained to intervene and support women who are being harassed. You can find out more about this scheme here.
